20 5 / 2012
For the last couple of days I have been praying and really considering where I stand in this present world. I am a believer of so many things. I believe in karma. I believe in sankoffa. I believe everything has a spirit. I believe everyone is born with goodness in their hearts. I believe in love. I believe in soul mates. I believe in having Faith. I believe in God, my Father. I don’t believe in coincidences. Everything happens because it is suppose to happen. All of the tests were are given as humans are only storms to bring us closer to God. Two things has happened to me recently. I know they were meant to happen and that I was suppose to be right there at that very moment.
1.) I went to a bridesmaid dinner. There was a young lady there in her 30’s and in the midst of us drinking our margaritas and the laughter she was giving a word that I needed. She was telling the table about how she worked at a fast food chain and that she was looking out of the window asking herself..is this it? Then she told herself to have faith and to look to God for guidance. She was allowing herself to still be open to God’s power. She spoke it into existence. Soon after she received a phone call for an interview to be a medical assistant. She turned this position down years ago when she was younger. She was given a second chance. I can respect this.
2.) Today, I went to church in Mableton, GA. I asked God to send me a message through the word today. Yes, it happened..and I listened intently because I knew the message was for me. The pastor spoke about having Faith and being a believer. He talked about the roadblocks of life and how we get those unexpected bumps that knock us off course. I needed this….I felt instantly better…finally I knew for a fact my prayers were being heard. I am not alone and I am relieved.
I have done alot of things I am not proud of…and I am still a project that is being constantly worked on. I try not to be judgemental. Everyone has a different story with a different beginning and end. Some stories will be connected some will not be. I observe more and try to really listen to what others have to say. You will be surprised of what will be opened to you.
Earlier, I was really thinking of how strong I am. My brothers…they have always had each other. They worked together, went to college together, graduated together, lived together…amazing. I have always done everything by myself. I was in h.s by myself, I went to college by myself, I moved by myself, I love by myself. I have done alot of stuff by myself. I am the only girl in the family. I feel like that makes me stronger in so many ways. Yesterday, at the bridesmaids dinner we were playing a game. We had to use the first letter in our first name to say a word that described yourself. I picked COURAGEOUS=Caren. Courageous Caren…I am.